The "Negative Sidekick Brain"

I'm playing a game called 'SupperBetter' ( www.superbetter.com ) to help me with some of the challenges of my mental illness.

Tonight, I managed to beat the "Negative Sidekick Brain" bad-guy.  I'm really freaking out because I haven't received the money I expected to be deposited on Tues (even though it sometimes doesn't show up until the day AFTER).

I pulled off a "It's never as bad as you think it is" Power-Up, recognizing I do have other options.  Unfortunately, in order to do that I had to succumb to the tag-team duo bad guys "Too excited/stressed/worried to sleep" and "Obsessive Compulsive" to really get cracking on making money on my business.  My business has been running since May and I don't even have $1 to show for it (17 cents in 'Accounts Receivable" with MochiMedia.com isn't gonna pay rent, meds OR food)

The alternative would have been worse - I could have beaten the Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, stayed in bed, and let my 'Sidekick' spew out all kinds of worst-case scenarios and still not gotten any sleep.  At least this way I'm doing something productive!

The fact is - it's not as bad as I think it is. I have a money management advisor who I give money to to pay my bills - and I'm totally covered for next month (and she's giving me spending money out of my budget for next month). The problem is I don't have any MORE money to give her.

But for now, I'm okay.

I was on an emotional up-swing before tonight, and business prospects are looking good. This financial crunch spurred me to realise I need to start making money. The downside to that is that it triggered my OCPD for tonight and now I want nothing more than to program (was on a bit of a roll before I went to bed). I could have beaten it and stayed in bed, but I think the Negative Sidekick Brain would have kept me up all night. This at least lets me focus it into something useful.

There's every possibility I'll check my account in 4-6 hours and everything'll be fine (I've been stressing out in about this way every month, except December when the money came early)

EDIT:  209 am - after having written the original post on my SuperBetter activity (to explain the 'loss,loss,win' of my 'Bad Guy fights) and then modifying the post for Google+ and here... I take a peek at my bank balance.. and there's the money.  "-495" turned into "922" and I feel much, much better =Z